Love………….
Limitless Patience and Kindness
Openness and Unconditional Acceptance
Verbal Appreciation of People and Things
Emotion that is all positive.
Love is an unexplainable feeling. No words can fully describe its significance and its description. Captioned above is only the beginning of its description.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. Buddha
Self Love
Every one has an innate desire to feel loved and accepted; it is a basic human need. When we do not know ourselves and we are not self reliant, we are misguided towards looking to fill this need within us from outside sources.
When this need is not filled from outside sources due to a broken, severed or an unfound relationship, we feel unworthy and our self esteem diminishes. With a broken self esteem we become even more dependant on outside sources, we become accepting of what life dishes out and we are not assertive in making the choices that would enhance our life experience.
“Love is nourishment for the soul. Just as food is to the body, so love is to the soul. Without food the body is weak. Without love the soul is weak.” ~Osho
Love received only or mostly from outside sources result in dependence of another for these feelings of love and worthiness. Without control over our own feelings we ultimately create for ourselves many opportunities for disappointment. When love and acceptance begins within we become independent of external sources for love, acceptance and feelings of worthiness. When we love ourselves the way we desire to be loved we gain complete control over our life experiences, we become empowered and the quality of the life we experience increases.
Finding love within is simple:
- Focus on your good qualities
- Make a list of all the things you love about yourself
- Become accepting of all your weaknesses
- Forgive yourself and accept that forgiveness
- Increase positive internal dialogue with yourself
- Practice Affirmations that Increases Self Esteem
- Move away from the negative self talk
- Acknowledge and celebrate accomplishments
- Know yourself
- Set goals and work toward them
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
When self love is increased we become more and more independent of love from external sources. All our relationships benefit. When we love ourself we become more confident in giving love because our experiences with love increases.
We become better able to focus our attention on the growth of our relationships. With unconditional acceptance our partners benefit, they feel free to be themselves, the relationship grows. We are able to focus on appreciating the good qualities of our companions instead of the responsibilities we give to them to love us in the way we desire. When we move away from demanding and conditional acceptance of others and we move toward unconditional acceptance and appreciation our feelings of fulfillment and wellbeing increases.
Benefits of Self Love
- Feelings of Worthiness Increase
- Self Esteem Increases
- Assertiveness Increases
- We become Empowered
- We become Independent
- The quality of our relationships increases
- We make Healthier Choices
- We Invest Time and Energy in ourselves
- We become Resilient to Criticism
- Well Being is Enhanced
- Appreciation Increases
Marriage
You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss
Falling in love is a great experience, we all try to hold on to this feeling for as long as we possibly could and we become disturbed when it slips away. Maintaining a relationship that continually produce the feel good feelings of falling in love is achievable with mutual commitment, work and regular maintenance.
With the correct tools and awareness, the feelings we’ve attach to falling in love and having a blissful marriage can be experienced each and every day. These are emotions we create within us. The more we practice these feelings, the more we nurture them, the more they will grow. Despite the challenges life may throw at us the amount of time we spend hovering over disappointments and setbacks will diminish as the love within us would increase our resilience. Like a coiled spring we would bounce back without much effort.
Habits for Supporting a Healthy Marriage
- Reconnect Daily, Spend a few moments undisturbed sharing the days experience
- Plan for Regular Alone Time to Romantically connect. Go on a date, do something fun, play a sport together, share an experienced
- Verbally express your love and appreciation for your spouse frequently
- Concentrate on the positive attributes of your spouse, see the good always
- Be Patient, practice patience, love and peace daily
- Be compassionate
- Enhance the life of your spouse, lend a hand and ask how you can make their day better and do it with love
- Share chores, both partners need to be active physically to impove time management and balance
- Schedule time needed to achieve personal goals
- Strenghten communication by being involved and interested in each others lives, accomplishments, disappointments and aspirations
- Remain clear and focused by scheduling time for speaking specifically about common goals, personal goals, financial planning, chore delegation, upcoming activities and sharing feelings weekly or monthly
- Plan a weekend getaway, this brings excitement and fun in planning and preparing
Misconceptions of marriage often are responsible for the quality of the marital experience. We are all responsible to find out for ourselves what Marriage really means and how we can enhance our own experience. Use your emotional guide to decide when something is working or not. When there are questions of uncertainty presented, we are responsible for seeking advice, research and improving our own awareness. We are the solutions to our life’s challenges; we just have to do the work.
The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life. –Brian Tracy
Marriage creates unity; the number one misconception in marriage is the full meaning of becoming ‘one’. There are many perceptions of this it is our responsibility to find for ourselves what works. With marriage we commit to maintaining the sacredness of marriage, pledging fidelity, honesty and openness to each other. We commit to unconditional love of our spouse. This unconditional love and acceptance means we accept them for everything they have to offer, we appreciate their weaknesses and pledge to assist in working together on weaknesses and building on our individual strengths. There is unity created in the outward vision of the couple, common goals are constructed. There is openness and a Spirit of compromise for the merging of common goals.
With marriage we are often misguided into thinking or assuming that we ought to forget about our identities completely and take on an entirely new identity that is a mixture of both spouses. The truth is we are all different, our DNA confirms this nothing done can change this. The most important factor commonly overlooked and taken for granted is our individual uniqueness and the growth of self. In as much as marriage creates unity we need to foster the growth of each individual within the marriage. Often times with lack of self esteem and dependence of the other spouse we impose rigid demands of what is acceptable and not. We commit to self sacrifice and work toward pleasing our spouse and neglect ourselves in the process. These habits destroy the relationship; with high demands one spouse feels overworked, the other feels unappreciated. With freedom to maintain individual goals marriage becomes an asset in other significant ways, we now have a cheer leader to support us and constantly cheer us on as we work toward our goals. We have someone to cheer and the feeling of giving increases the fulfillment we feel.
An important factor within a blissful marriage is independence. We need to be independent of the other spouse for our basic human needs emotionally and physically. We need to contribute mutually to the relationship and not take from the relationship. We need that self love so we can truly give love.
Emotional Independence in Marriage
When we can love ourselves and our happiness is self generated and not dependant of external sources our marriage benefits tremendously. Stability of our emotions increases, we gain more control over the way we feel and our experiences in life. We become empowered.
Marriage is about sharing love, happiness and peace not taking these things. Comparatively it’s like a mathematical novice teaching algebra, there would not be much growth for the students. The more we know about a topic the more our expertise increases and the better we are able to give what we’ve experienced. When we love ourselves we know more about what love is all about; we become better able to share the love we have within us. The more we love ourselves the more love we become, the more love we can share.
Physical Independence in Marriage
With self love we become empowered and we invest more time in ourselves for growth and development personally. We set individual goals and work toward them. We see ourselves as worthy and make better choices for improving the quality of our life experiences.
With emotional independence it becomes easier for us to “let go” of our spouses. There is no fear in loosing the love we receive to fill our void. Wanting more for ourselves out of love we automatically will reciprocate our feelings to our spouse, wanting in return for them to pursue their goals and maintain their identity. This is an asset to the relationship as the person we fell in love with, although there is change, identity remains as freedom of choice to change remains. There is more fulfillment in their lives as there is less pressure for conformation and denial of self.
With control of our thoughts and emotions our spouses does not become our battle field. With independence, open communication, unconditional acceptance and love with a spirit of compromise marriage becomes the blissful experience we all desire.
Marriage in general has been shown to increase emotional and physical well being. It contributes to more effective parenting; it also increases the well being of children and decreases the risks of serious personal and social problems providing the marriage is stable and successful.
Marriage is an ideal for raising children but I honestly believe that it is always in the best interest of a child to be raised in the presence of one stable parent figure than in a home with two feuding parents.
A blissful marriage is easily attained once a few basic concepts are embraced and implemented with mutual effort and continuity.
Acceptance of our Spouse Unconditionally
Balance of Life
Love that’s Unconditional
Identity Maintained
Secrets Shared, Truth & Trust Practiced
Significantly Increase the Quality of the Relationship Daily
Foundation for Family Life
Understanding and Mutual Respect
Let go of Control and offer Support
Merging of Two Unique & Different Individuals
Appreciation of each other Verbally and Frequently
Recognition of Roles including our Contributions and Contaminations
Reconnecting Frequently (Daily Optimally)
Independence Emotionally and Physically
Asset for Financial Growth
Goals that are Common and Individual
Enhancement of Emotional and Physical Wellbeing
*********